


The anniversary

by Duke_Dana



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, F/M, M/M, Multi, vandermatthews
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29017461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duke_Dana/pseuds/Duke_Dana
Summary: Dutch forgets a really important anniversary and tries to save Hosea.TW: DRUG / ALCOHOL ABUSE
Relationships: Bessie Matthews/Hosea Matthews, Hosea Matthews/Dutch van der Linde, Molly O'Shea/Dutch van der Linde
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some Vandermatthews and angst 🥺 
> 
> I am sorry for my bad English, I not a native speaker and I am still learning.   
> Sadly I can’t write in the accents the characters actually talk in 😔 hopefully you can still enjoy this.

They normally never give a damn about anniversaries. They were happy about ever day they had together, with their kind of life they could get killed every minute.   
But this time was different. Since a couple of weeks Dutch only had eyes for this new lover Molly and normally he wouldn’t have any problem with it. He and Dutch believed that you can love more then one person at the same time and they never get jealous. Hosea knew that his partner will always love him, no matter how many women he loved beside him. For the older one there were only Bessie and Dutch, his true love and his soulmate.   
Today he couldn’t concentrate on the newspaper and put it back on the table, he felt kind of lonely at the moment. And with that anniversary tomorrow it’s just getting worse and worse, because the only person he wanted to talk about his feelings was his partner. 

Arthur watched his father the last days and realized how bad his mental state seem to be, he looked really depressed and didn’t talk to anyone anymore. Hosea always had some times were he just sat back and was reading quietly, but this time it was different. It’s been a really long time since he has see him like that. And the last time Hosea tried to drown himself in alcohol after his wife died. The outlaw looked at John, who tried to talk to their father, but Hosea just answered with an apathetic hum. Arthur sighed, this morning he got the same answer. Hopefully it will go away in a couple of days. 

Some days later the young man wanted to surprise his older father with a hunting trip to cheer him up. But he hasn’t even seen him these days. “Marston, have you seen the old man somewhere?”, fragte er seinen kleinen Bruder. “Not since Monday I guess, he was even more grumpy then normally so I wanted to leave him alone”, erwiderte John. Poor stupid John, couldn’t read anyone “I don’t think he was being grumpy or angry, more like depressed and.. kinda hopeless.. help me to find him, he can’t be too far away”. At least he hoped so. But after searching the camp and asking the other gang members Hosea seemed to have vanished. And John also didn’t have any good news “Silver dollar is away, but no one save him leaving the camp.. we probably should Dutch..”. Arthur nodded, at first he didn’t want to interrupt the he gang leader, but it would be careless not to enlighten Dutch. 

Arthur frowned when he saw Dutch flirting so carefree with the red haired lady, he really was clueless about Hosea „Dutch, sorry for the interruption.. but er really need to talk... alone.“. Dutch was surprised about Arthur’s serious tone „of course my son. Miss O‘Shea, will you excuse us?“. They both went into his tent and closed it, so everyone knew that they had a private talk. The black haired man sat down on the edge of his bed and looked up to the young man „now tell me Arthur, what’s on your mind?“. „I think something has happened to 'sea. I haven’t see him for days - well no one has, he is out of camp...“, he got interrupted by Dutch „Hosea is an adult, maybe he is on a hunting trip. The is no reason to be this worried about the old girl“. „Dutch! Listen to me, I understand that you are head over heels with your new lover, but that’s why you haven’t seen what I saw. The days before he vanished he didn’t talk, he didn’t eat and he seemed to be really depressed. The last time I saw him like that was after...“, and that was when Dutch realized it „after Bessies death... it’s the anniversary of her death..“, that wasn’t a good news. 

Dutch got quickly up and packed some stuff „Son, you will stay in camp and I’ll go and search for him. I kinda have an idea where I will find him“. Hopefully it wasn’t as bad as last time. He stormed out of his tent and quickly prepared the Count before he rode into town.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another train writing!  
> Maybe the ff will take longer then 3 chapters, I think about adding some happy memories xD

Stupid Hosea. It was a mixture of anger and fear that accompanied him on the way to town. When Bessie died it took him nearly a year to get his partner sober and it really was a hard fight. They have gone tough so much, why wouldn’t he come to Dutch and talk to him? Just because he was a little distracted with Molly? He would kill for him.. why wouldn’t he trust him enough to talk about his feelings? The anger outweighed the fear and he was ready to tell the older one, how much of a fool he was! He arrived at the saloon, his hands were clenched into fists and he opened the door with too much strength. But when he saw him his anger vanished. Hosea sat there, his head resting on the bar and he was barely awake. Dutch sighed, at least he wasn’t hurt or anything.  
“Good evening, I will pay for this mans drinks”, he said to the barkeeper, but the man shook his head “he paid for everything, even before the first drink”.  
He nodded and then tried to get Hosea back on this feet but he was really out of it, thankfully he was really light so he could carry him. “He is my wife’s brother, she wouldn’t be happy to see him like that... is there any hotel or anything where I can take him to sober up?”, in times like that he wished Hosea and he would look more alike so they could pass as brothers or cousins. Two men getting one room was really weird for the most people, when they aren’t related. It was even harder to get rooms when they traveled a couple of years ago just with young Arthur and John. “we have a room available on the second floor”, the barkeeper walked to the back and gave he black haired man the key after he paid. 

He put his arm around Hoseas slim waist and carried him to the room, he tried to talk to him but couldn’t get any reaction. He carefully laid him down on the bed and stared to undress him, he took his hat, boots, vest and belt off and put the on the chair next to the bed before he sat down next to him. He slowly reached his hand to his partners face and carefully stroke over his stubbly cheeks. Normally Hosea shaves nearly every day, it was weird to see him like this. He looked so fragile “you are an idiot”, he signed again “I would do everything for you, why don’t you talk to me?”. He knew that he wouldn’t get a reaction, the older man wouldn’t wake up before tomorrow. The longer he watched him sleep the more the self-doubt in Dutch started to grow. In the past he always saw when Hosea wasn’t ok. In the past he didn’t even had to tell him, he felt it and that’s how he would help him. His partner was always really stubborn and would never ask for help. Maybe it was his fault not to notice? Maybe he really neglected him? If anything would have happened, would he ever be able to forgive himself?

At first Hosea tried to distract himself with some pickpocketing and after that with some poker games. But it didn’t work out, he made some money but even though it was fun he still felt empty inside. Empty and lonely. It’s been years since he has felt this alone and it really was the worst feeling to experience.. His feet took him to the saloon, without him even thinking about it. But maybe the alcohol would help him to feel numb again? The image of Dutch’s disappointed face came into his mind, he should have talked to him. But on the other hand he was just an old man, who will die soon, so he had no right to interrupt his happiness. Dutch should be able to move on and Miss O’Shea was a lovely woman, she really knew how to handle him. Hosea took a deep breath, just one drink. One drink was okay, he always drank with the gang and it never ended bad.. but the difference was that now he tried to cope with drinking. He greeted the barkeeper and sat down at the bar, before he ordered a drink. Slowly he took the first sip, the whisky was really good. But after the first drink he still felt empty, his heart was craving for more and his mind went blank when he gave the barkeeper some of his money and said “just fill the glass again, when it’s empty”.  
He stopped counting the drinks he had. His heart was racing and he felt warm on the inside.. but it still didn’t help, the horrible feeling of being unnecessary didn’t leave till everything went black...


End file.
